Arlawyne Diane "Macias?".

my mother, the one who gave me life, the reason I have spent the last few months in therapy and finally decided that it was time to come to Jesus.
That's Christ, Jesus,
not the illegitimate husband Jesus.

My counselor asked me to give some thought to how (after the years of neglect and abandonment) I could honor my mother as God commands. I have come to a conclusion. Nowhere in the bible does it say I am to respect thy mother and father it only says to "honor". I believe to forgive is to honor. So in this way I will refrain from listing all the ugly self absorbed moments I've witnessed of my mother. I will not announce to this community what seeds she has sown in order to show where her current harvest originated.

Believe me when I say this is a truck load of restraint. I have given much thought to how I could slam my mother until I realized in doing so I will have become my parent.

I will only forgive.

As God is my witness. I forgive you mom

I come in here almost daily to read my own words .
To ponder and try to make sense of my life.

I work hard to, in the words of my ex-wife, "reinvent myself". I read allot and pray to the lord and generally seek out ways to make a better life for my new wife and step children. In this today I realize that I have done no better for my biological son than my mother did for me so here I think that it is only appropriate that while I am working to forgive my mother (Yes it is work) I should also seek forgiveness from my own son.

If you know your Bible you will know what I mean when I say "sins of the father"

Please forgive me Colten I am truly sorry .

This is who I have always been.
The only change is really that the files are getting a little more orderly.

With God and Michael ( My counselor) some of the old usless ones are being purged and this seems to make sence of what is important

Colten has recently hinted that he viewed me as self centered.

Most of my adult life has been work to provide for another.
Priorities were misaligned but self centered misses the mark.

I really hope that at some point we can make a connection as father and son should and begin to understand one another.